I Love You More Than...

"Many waters cannot quench love,

Nor can the floods drown it.

If a man would give for love

All the wealth of his house,

It would be utterly despised."

Song of Solomon 8:7 {nkjv}

 

 

It really comes down to love in the end.

 

This week, I swept, swept, swept up the stray wisps of pug fur and tracked-in dirt and thought about it -

 

Thought about the particular area of my life in which I feel the Holy Spirit giving the gentle nudge to change - to do differently than I have always done.

 

Which will cause me to be differently {yes, I'm using that as an adverb}.

 

I've felt His nudge in this area before - heard His voice tell me that, as Corrie Ten Boom says, He will walk with me over the fearful, unknown bridge of obedience in this thing.

 

I believe obeying is right - that God speaks Truth when He tells us that He rewards obedience.

 

But I love my disobedience and its perceived benefits.

 

I rationalize it: It isn't sin.

 

"Just" disobedience to the Holy Spirit.

 

So I hesitate - hesitate - hesitate... putting one foot on the bridge, then taking it off again.

 

And I think, "Why is it so hard for me to obey in this area?"

 

And this week, the epiphany came while I swept the floor...

 

A quote and its accompanying scene from the Kendricks brothers' film Fireproof tiptoed through my mind: When the main character Caleb destroys his computer {his own form of disobedience} and leaves a note for his wife - "I love you more," it says.

 

We will give everything for that which we value above all else. {Matthew 13:44} For that which we love above all else.

Hence, if I claim to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength, should not my response be the same as Caleb's to anything - anything at all - that He indicates I need to be rid of: "I love You more."

 

And I realize from what my disobedience {of a very different sort than Caleb's - but then, aren't all sins basically the same at their root?} springs. From whence the difficulty to change arises: Not that I must crush this thing itself - for, as I mentioned, it is not a sin in and of itself -

But that I must love Him more than it, as Abram with Isaac, and be willing to prove that by laying it on the altar when He asks for it, trusting that God will, indeed, provide the sacrifice. And already has.

 

There must be no competition in my heart.

There must be no competition in your heart, my friend.

 

May my Beloved Savior, the Fairest of Ten Thousand, increase my love for Him so that I may affirm to Him, "I love You more."